This video hit so close to home. Sobbing violently before a shower and coffee is not how I expected to start my day.
The generational gap. The cultural (and sometimes lingual) disconnect. The disparate quality of life and lifestyle. The technological rift. The sacrifice. The heartbreak and unrelenting love.
The Calm app sent me this reminder this morning. With all that’s going on in the world right now, I appreciated it.
It also reminded me of a principle that my dad reiterated to me throughout my childhood and young adulthood. It won’t translate as well as I’d like it, but the basic concept was that, especially as a girl/woman (đ) I should be calm, steady, grounded, and ocean deep. Take a small bowl of water, for example. Any minor disruption (a shake, an object falling in, etc.) can be catastrophic and immediately empty the bowl. On the other hand, it takes much more to cause any noticeable disruption to a large, deep ocean; it can withstand great storms and still return to a state of calm.
Despite its sexist undertones, the lesson was a good one in mindfulness, and one that I’m still trying to practice.
After 10 days away, I’m home. I’m excited to be with my people here and get back to my routine, but I’m also a little melancholy knowing that I won’t see my coworkers for an entire year, if ever again. (I’ve never been good at goodbyes or finalities.)
I admit that that sounds dark, but it actually makes me very appreciative for the time I do get to spend with them, which is why I do everything I can to make the most of our week together.
Here’s a random, disjointed glimpse of my GM, minus most of the work stuff. Because, well — it’s work. It’s kind of weird to take photos of people in the middle of a meeting or class… though there’s a few of those too. đ
Gorgeous sights. Face swaps. Surprise doggos. Improvised lobby dance parties. Late-night eats. Catching up 1:1. Prom. Immature jokes. Honest conversations. Peace signs. Homeroom. Twinning. Champagne. Domains. Nodules. Surprise connections.
As someone remarked this week, “You’re really good at burning the candle at both ends.”
Cheers to my team, and I hope to see you all soon.
Love is a benevolent process whereby two people try to teach each other how to become the best versions of themselves.
Loved this episode of On Being — it so perfectly captures how I view love and relationships, which while beautiful, can also be flawed and exhausting, and rest heavily on the shoulders of compatibility and communication.
We must fiercely resist the idea that true love must mean conflict-free love, that the course of true love is smooth. Itâs not. The course of true love is rocky and bumpy at the best of times. Thatâs the best we can manage as the creatures we are. Itâs no fault of mine or no fault of yours; itâs to do with being human. And the more generous we can be towards that flawed humanity, the better chance weâll have of doing the true hard work of love.
Be soft. Do not let the world make you hard. Do not let pain make you hate. Do not let the bitterness steal your sweetness. Take pride that even though the rest of the world may disagree, you still believe it to be a beautiful place.
–Â Iain Thomas
(Although often incorrectly attributed to Kurt Vonnegut)
h/t Anne McCarthy
This post was great, but this portion in particular resonated with me:
As someone who sometimes fears lack of control and spends more time than I’d like in a wistful state of mind, this is a lovely perspective. Whenever emotions — fear, sadness, regret, anger — get the best of me, nothing brings me back down to earth more than the reminder that everything is temporary.
At my most zen, I’m able to channel this. I’ve noticed, however, that it can be perceived as aloof, cold, or dark. I get that, but it’s not meant to be any of those things. By embracing the impermanence of life and everything in it, I’m able to be my most appreciative.
…On the other hand, can this way of thinking manifest into self-fulfilling prophecies? If you already understand that the glass is already broken, are you less careful in handling it?
(h/t Matt Mullenweg)
“You ruin your life by tolerating it. At the end of the day you should be excited to be alive. When you settle for anything less than what you innately desire, you destroy the possibility that lives inside of you, and in that way you cheat both yourself and the world of your potential. “
This was posted a year ago today, and I still love everything about it.
When did we become so afraid to love someone with vulnerability? When did we become so fearful of spilling our guts and being who we are? It sounds corny but itâs true.
…
Letâs go after the things we want, letâs love each other brutally and honestly, and not worry about the consequences. Letâs release the feelings inside of us and let them land somewhere special. Otherwise, we might have a lifetime of longing in front of us.
My very pragmatic side annoyingly reminds me that I can’t spout off about everything I’m feeling. There are repercussions. What good will it do? I’m an adult after all, and adults can’t successfully function unfiltered âŚright?
I don’t know, but I know that I’m happier being genuine with my heart upon my sleeve, regardless of the discomfort, self-doubt, and general anxiety it may cause me.
(But if I’ve caused you any discomfort or anxiety, I really am sorry!)
i want to go to there. 
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